Like Abby Wambach Says...
Ramblings from a day that saw me get real fired up
A woman who doesn't give up can never lose.” - Abby Wambach
I'm letting that quote drive me tonight because more than one time in my life a man has banked on the assumption that I would give up. Each time, I’ve become more resilient than the last and learned to stand up for myself and for others in a bigger way than before. The sad fact is that more women that not have dealt with inequity at work, sexual harassment or straight up sexual abuse in their lifetimes, most often from or by a man. Chances are, if you’re like me, you’ve encountered more than one of these experiences.
I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist but it doesn't seem like a stretch to say that these perpetrators, regardless of how severe the offense, are driven by an ego that allows them to believe they’re above the consequences of their actions. And they are counting on one thing: fear, shame, intimidation, pain, or the emotional or time investment will preclude their subject from ever holding them accountable. I’m learning throughout my time as a girl and as a woman that the reason women don’t often speak up and the reason the perpetrator believes they will not be called out is the way we treat the women who do call it out. Minimized, not believed, and asked “Why didn't you say something sooner?” or “Why didn't you just leave?”
There are many reasons women don't come forward. To save themselves the hurt and shame. To save their loved ones the hurt and shame. To save their families the drama. Because they fear not being believed. The first time I was too scared. The second I felt bad for him. The third I spoke up and was shut down. This time Ill let his words speak for himself in good time. I wont lose because this time I wont give up.