Multi-Talented and Confused

The many sides of me


woman holding a book, next to a coffee mug

My daughter’s favorite TV show is like many others, in that it has a couple of traditional things within each episode, a song, and a lesson. Whether I like it or not, the songs stick with us like bad pharmaceutical commercial jingles. She sings them over and over, my husband sings them over and over, and eventually so do I. While, I admittedly have grown sick of most of them, there is one that stays with me, not because of the catchy hooks, but because the message resonates with me. The song goes like this, “You can be more than one thing...” The message is that some people have a job they’re great at as well as a hobby they love. One character’s parent owns a music store and is also a volunteer fire fighter. “You can be more than one thing.”

I reference this often with my daughter when she’s confused as to why I am at home but I can’t play with her during the day. She doesn’t understand that COVID has forced us into this “all-roles, all the time” moment in our lives. In one day, I am Mom, wife, saleswoman, boss, daughter, daycare provider, writer, web designer, and aspirational in-shape person. I use that catchy tune from her show to explain that “Mommy is more than one thing, and right now mommy has to be the boss at work for a few hours.” It’s hard to hear her little voice say, “Can you play a game with me?” and look her in the eye and say, “I can’t right now, Baby,” because I know these moments are fleeting, but that doesn’t change that I am “at work” during those hours.

I, like many moms, am struggling to fit it all in. Working out before she wakes up, working until nap time, assisting Grandma with nap time, eating a healthy lunch, working some more, “making” dinner, getting ready for bed, (not to mention the beast that is bedtime...whole other blog entry), and still find time to actually play with her and maybe fit in a side hustle or two after bed time. Its enough to make your head spin and your mind swirl, and it does both regularly. But I am what I recently heard referred to as “multi-talented and confused.” I have so many goals and ideas rumbling around in that swirling mind that part of the stress is not having enough time to get them all out. I want my daughter to know she is my priority, and she always will be. But, well no, not “but.” AND. I want her to know she’s my priority AND because I am more than one thing, I am also writing a children’s book for her, and I empower women for her, and I use my voice for her. Now that I am a mom, all the things I used to put my energy towards mean more because they have to. They have to mean more if they take time away from her. But they have to mean more because I want her to see that I am many things. By nature, AND also by choice and with intention. I am multi-talented. I am confused. I can be more than one thing.